just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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