im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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