remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
