yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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