hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hippo gnu deer
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
