Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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