I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
