he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
