Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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