Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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