at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
