she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
