He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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