just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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