I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
