She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
