I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
