I want to have your abortion
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
