so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
