dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
