The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
