So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
