Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
