I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
