Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
