You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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