i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Randomize
