You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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