Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
