I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
