Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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