The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So squirting runs in the family.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize