So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
