I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am naked and annoyed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
