You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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