I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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