and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
