he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
