It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
