some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
