Non-Jews are for practice
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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