yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
