when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
