It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
