The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
