I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
