Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize