9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
