he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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