why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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