found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
