i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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