My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
