Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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