When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
