They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
