Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
