So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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