So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
